I accept no responsibility for the content on these pages... or anything else in my life.

Sam Watney
My baby Nephew!
http://www.samwatney.co.uk

Nick and Nicola's wedding
My Sister and Bro' in law
http://www.nixwebsite.co.uk

Barrington
The South Coast's Funk Rockers
http://www.barrington-music.com/

The Bar Chord
Southampton Music Legend James Tinney
http://www.thebarchord.co.uk

YourOccasions
Need a website for a special occasion?
http://www.youroccasions.co.uk

Random Friends Blogs etc:

Ruth Ann Harpur

Sarah Kerry

Lord Gazron

I am increasingly finding myself comprimising accecptable styles of conversation. For instance, only yesterday afternoon I found myself talking to a complete stranger, suggesting the universe should be rotated anti-clockwise 30degrees so it would match my current outlook of the cosmos.

The woman looked up from the till in McDonalds and said 'Look kid, don't take the piss... if you're not gonna buy anything then you can f**k off'.

Cheese is heavier than rock

Idea for a safer world

Is the moon made out of cheese?

Airplane security

A passage from my novel

I have heard recently that in a move to highten security, airlines are banning tweezers in handluggage on airplanes.

What the heck is that about? Firstly I would like to see someone actually highjack a jumbo jet with a pair of tweezers...

"fly this plane into the pentagon or i'll pluck your nosehair"

I just can't see it working.

I think this ban will cause a lot of upset. What if just before a flight to New York you were building a shed in your garden and didn't notice getting a splinter until you were on the plane... becuase you get your tweezers confiscated at customs you'll have to wait 6 hours or so before actually getting hold of a proper instrument to remove the offending item. It's just not on.

Maybe they should make special plastic 'airline friendly' tweezers. hmm......

You know that thing they made us do at school where you got 2 yoghurt pots and tied them together with string so you could allegedy talk to your friend by speaking into your yogurt pot while they listen the other end by putting their yogurt pot to their ear?

Is it me or is that a complete load of rubbish? Sure, the string might be able the vibrate with the sound of your voice, but not enough to actually communicate surely? The project was flawed from the start because you could always hear your friends voice anyway becuase they normally very close or in the same room so it is hard to prove. They never let us have enough string in my class to do a proper test of a few hundred metres.

If we can get this idea off the ground then we can all walk around with yogurt pots in our pockets instead of mobiles. It is cheaper, far safer (string isn't radioactive) and much more friendly.

I guess the only downside is just that we will have to walk everywhere over mountains of string, but I am sure we can adapt.

If the moon is made out of cheese right...(and let's face it noone has proved otherwise yet)... and a flaming hot comet hits the moon the other side to the Earth yeah, and the moon then exploded in a hot lava-like way right, and the bits of the moon were heading for Earth right... would the bits of cheese burn in the atmosphere so we would consequentally have "raining melted cheese"?

Only I've been worrying about this for some time now and I'm not sure my umbrella is capable of withstanding loads of melted brie falling from the sky.

1lb of cheese weighs exactly the same as 16ounces of steel.
But 1lb of rock will only weigh the same as 1lb of feathers.

There - proof that cheese is heavier than rock.

i want

peas

cauliflower

Tucks Greasy Spoon

cauliflower is nice
but not as nice as peas

it is very good for you
and it looks like little tress

it's good to have for dinners
and it's good to have for teas

i like it on its own
or covered in melted cheese

peas make the world go round and round.
peas make you smile whenever you frown.
peas make you happy whenever you are down.
peas are great cos they are green not brown.
peas really are the best things in town.